Learning, laughing, living

As a little girl, I remember standing by the sink and watching my Daddy shave his face. I remember the thick white lather of his shaving cream and the smell of his aftershave. I also remember how much I looked up to and loved my Dad. I would follow him around just to be near him…..tool fetcher, drink getter, no job was too big or too small if it meant I could be with my Daddy. After all, my Daddy LOVED me!

Today, I watched while my husband shaved his face. I have been trying to savor that time with him everyday since we married on July 24th. It only takes about 5 minutes, I guess. Sometimes it is just a pure pleasure to sit and watch him get ready to slay the dragon called work. Usually, we talk….often I pray for him. Other times, like today, it is an exercise in savoring the moment. Today, I had a whole carport full of yard sale items to sort and price. Lunch needed to be prepared. Children needed my attention. I was tempted to leave….to throw myself into the duties of the day. What held me there? The memories of my “first” life.

I remember camping with my husband Scott. I remember pouring through a novel inside the tent while he sat by the fire looking up at the stars in the deep woods of Aroostook County, Maine. He called to me…”Melissa, put that book down. Come look at these stars with me!” I hesitated…I was in a really good part of the story! Eventually, I did go out and look at the stars with him…but not immediately. In other words, I am sure he felt that the novel was the priority
of the moment more so than those few minutes with him.

Now, I see things differently….most days, any way. While we should not live in the past, I cannot tell you that I haven’t wished I had those minutes back. But I can tell you that the minutes that I casually tossed aside for the duty or distraction of the moment have taught me a valuable lesson. I pray that Darren and I will not leave this space of gratitude. The space where we are achingly aware of the fragility of life with someone we love. How in a moment it can all be changed forever. For me, watching my husband shave, is a moment in time that I can show him I reverence him. I love him. Nothing is as important as spending those moments together before we face the outside world. I never asked my Dad how he felt when I was watching him shave but I can tell you that I now understand better how much that time with him meant to me. Our youngest, Annie, is fond of telling Darren when he needs to shave and occasionally she watches him as well. It is my plan to always remind her to savor those moments…..shaving, washing dishes together, working in the yard, carrying the groceries in. Whatever mundane thing it is that you get to do with your loved one….I encourage you to do it with the idea that it may be your last opportunity. Be 100% present…..savor the preciousness of this life.