Friday, October 17, 2008

Thankfulness

Yeah, the economy is on a roller coaster and "tremendous wealth" has been "wiped out" ... or has it?

Do you have your family? Do you have your health? Did you eat today, have clothes to wear, have a place to come into out of the weather?

In dealing with the intense pain and indescribable loneliness due to Karen’s no longer being by my side I'm learning that an attitude of gratitude goes along way to help. In those times that I feel as if I could be swallowed up with pain or worry, if I consciously look to all the good in my life and take nothing for granted the pain seems to lessen and fade a bit.

I’m thankful for the lessons of pain and grief. Saying goodbye to Karen has taught me how short life is and how utterly temporary all the rest of the “stuff” in life is and how upside down my priorities can get if I’m not careful.

Two days ago I sat at the computer reading the headlines of the impending election, the roller coaster markets and general doom and gloom. I was lost in thought when Hannah came into the room and said something to me that caused me to grab hold of her where upon she and two others drug me out of my seat and we proceeded to have an all out wrestling match. It wasn’t long before it was 5 against 1. We had a blast. I wish I could tell you I let go and enjoy what is right in front me often. I don't, but I'm trying.

I’m deeply grateful for my children. Yes they are a lot of work and drain every bit of energy out of me at times. But they also fill me up and keep me balanced.

One of my favorite quotes is from Forest E. Witcraft

“A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove...but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child.”

Turn your speakers on watch the video below and be challenged:

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Welcome! This blog is still partially under construction so please pardon our dust.

I’m going to begin the blog by sharing a couple of pictures and the story behind how each came to be as well as why I’ve decided to start another blog. I chose these pictures because of when and where they were taken. For me they serve as a powerful reminder of life’s changes physically as the children have gown but also when I look at those smiling faces I am lost in thought at how much they’ve grown emotionally and the experiences we’ve all had along our journey. I’m so grateful for each of them and the impact they have had and continue to have on my life.

There are four years difference between the pictures and if you want, you can see larger versions simply by clicking on them.

This picture was taken September 12, 2004 just outside Longhi’s (one of our favorite restaurants) in Maui, HI. Karen took this picture. We didn’t have a clue that she had cancer and that it was spreading through her body. She began getting sick within a couple of months and it would take months longer to diagnose her.




This picture was taken September 12, 2008 in the exact same location as the one above by one of the sales staff of a local store. Karen has been Home for almost a year.

A promise kept …

Shortly after Karen was diagnosed with cancer and told she would most likely have only months to live, she came to me and said she found where she wanted me to take her to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary. That was 3 years away and when I saw where she wanted to stay I was glad of it because it would definitely take me that long to save up enough money. She never made requests like that so I knew it was important to her and I immediately obliged her. I would have tried to give her the moon if she asked for it.

Neither of us accepted man’s timeline for her life and set about making plans to celebrate our anniversary in this dream house. I contacted the owner’s and we had plans arranged for Maui in 2008. In September 2007, Karen told me that she didn’t feel she would be healthy enough to go in September 2008 and asked if we could go on my next scheduled vacation which was in October.

I contacted the folks who owned the place we were planning to rent and asked if the home was available a year earlier and if they would be able to accept a lower rate since we had not been able to save enough at that point. As I corresponded with the owners I learned they too were Christians and they shared the same anniversary of 9/11 though married years earlier than Karen and I.

Upon hearing our situation they generously agreed to accept what we could pay and after securing a rental van and checking on flight schedules we were set to go Maui, Hawaii where we honeymooned. Our dream trip, albeit a year earlier than planned, was scheduled and we were counting down the days.

Our plans weren’t in line with God’s. It was the very early morning hours this day (07OCT08) one year ago that Karen insisted I restate several promises I was to make every effort to keep if she got to go Home before I did. We were in the emergency room at Northside Hospital in Atlanta. Suddenly and without warning she began to experience the worst headache imaginable. We weren’t sure what was happening but Karen sensing it would now not be possible to travel made me go through the promises again and added one last more. She asked me to promise her that I’d take the children and go to Hawaii just like we planned. As most of you know, Karen was called Home just three weeks later.

On September 09, 2008 I was able to keep that promise as the children and I boarded the first of two flights that would take us to Maui and a week’s stay in the house Karen picked out for us.

In the next update and those to follow I will share with you and record for the benefit of my children what this year has been like for us. What we’ve learned and how we’ve grown. I’ll share the pain and joy, the good times and difficult. It is my greatest desire that all who read about our journey take hope, laugh with us, cry with us, rejoice and rest knowing regardless of life’s storms God is in charge.