Thursday, December 18, 2008

I’ve been holding off on posting for a while because my heart is deeply saddened. I miss my best friend. I miss being a husband. I miss what was and can not be again. I feel alone even in a crowd. If it were not for the children and the need to work I would be content to simply withdraw from everything. Lord, can this be as You intended?

I know that ALL THINGS work together for good for them that love God, but when I look at my children … when I think of where I am now as opposed to where I was … when I survey the world around me … I believe. Help Thou my unbelief …

The words to this song are particularly poignant to me. I first heard this song at a concert with Karen in 1990 when I was very young in my faith. It ministered to me then and it did again today.

"Help Thou My Unbelief" By Bill Gaither

I believe. Help thou my unbelief.
I take the finite risk of trusting like a child.
I believe. Help thou my unbelief.
I walk into the unknown, trusting all the while.

I long so much to feel the warmth that others seem to know.
But should I never feel a thing, I claim Him even so.
I believe. Help thou my unbelief.
I walk into the unknown trusting like a child.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am praying for you Darren.
In Him,
Rebekah

LauraLiz said...

My heart hears you. Our situations are different in that my spouse chose to leave, but many of the feelings you articulate resonate with me. I wake up many days wondering how I blundered into this life. I know, know, know God is faithful....but it is still hard.

Stopping to pray for you now.

Laura Hinkle