As a little girl, I remember standing by the sink and watching my Daddy shave his face. I remember the thick white lather of his shaving cream and the smell of his aftershave. I also remember how much I looked up to and loved my Dad. I would follow him around just to be near him…..tool fetcher, drink getter, no job was too big or too small if it meant I could be with my Daddy. After all, my Daddy LOVED me!

Today, I watched while my husband shaved his face. I have been trying to savor that time with him everyday since we married on July 24th. It only takes about 5 minutes, I guess. Sometimes it is just a pure pleasure to sit and watch him get ready to slay the dragon called work. Usually, we talk….often I pray for him. Other times, like today, it is an exercise in savoring the moment. Today, I had a whole carport full of yard sale items to sort and price. Lunch needed to be prepared. Children needed my attention. I was tempted to leave….to throw myself into the duties of the day. What held me there? The memories of my “first” life.

I remember camping with my husband Scott. I remember pouring through a novel inside the tent while he sat by the fire looking up at the stars in the deep woods of Aroostook County, Maine. He called to me…”Melissa, put that book down. Come look at these stars with me!” I hesitated…I was in a really good part of the story! Eventually, I did go out and look at the stars with him…but not immediately. In other words, I am sure he felt that the novel was the priority
of the moment more so than those few minutes with him.

Now, I see things differently….most days, any way. While we should not live in the past, I cannot tell you that I haven’t wished I had those minutes back. But I can tell you that the minutes that I casually tossed aside for the duty or distraction of the moment have taught me a valuable lesson. I pray that Darren and I will not leave this space of gratitude. The space where we are achingly aware of the fragility of life with someone we love. How in a moment it can all be changed forever. For me, watching my husband shave, is a moment in time that I can show him I reverence him. I love him. Nothing is as important as spending those moments together before we face the outside world. I never asked my Dad how he felt when I was watching him shave but I can tell you that I now understand better how much that time with him meant to me. Our youngest, Annie, is fond of telling Darren when he needs to shave and occasionally she watches him as well. It is my plan to always remind her to savor those moments…..shaving, washing dishes together, working in the yard, carrying the groceries in. Whatever mundane thing it is that you get to do with your loved one….I encourage you to do it with the idea that it may be your last opportunity. Be 100% present…..savor the preciousness of this life.

Finally an update ....

Melissa and I have been extremely busy bringing two households together but do intend on sharing our experineces as two become one on many, many levels. The events of this weekend are as good as place as any to begin sharing. Because our perspectives are so different, I am pleased to share that Melissa will be actively writing for the blog. We hope you enjoy this update.

My sweet husband, brought our family back to Maine for the Labor Day holiday. As many of you know, Darren is a planner and I am a “right now” kind of person. We can balance each other wonderfully: he prepares for the road ahead and I help him enjoy today. These same wonderful qualities can also annoy the other partner immensely! Because of our different personalities, I was once again amazed by my best friend. His planning met a need I didn’t even anticipate having! (Darren is probably chuckling right now because planners ANTICIPATE….very difficult for those like myself who worry about tomorrow in tomorrow!) That being said, Darren planned this trip (between working at home and Delta) while I was unpacking boxes and thinking about what to have for dinner each day…..I am so thankful he did!
While the sky was yet dark on Sunday morning of Sept. 6th we woke our eight blessings. Zachary said, “Dad, it is practically the middle of the night!” Sounds of delight filled the morning quiet once the children saw their backpacks ready to go and it sunk in that Dad wasn’t playing a practical joke….we really were on our way to Maine! Even as we headed to the airport, I was still thinking about what I could be accomplishing if I stayed in Newnan and just kept plugging away at the unpacking. That is why I found myself incredulous as several hours later I, too, realized I was wanting….no yearning….for Maine and family. As the scenery changed so did my heart. 3,000 miles in 3 days…no problem! A 45 minute ride to the airport, a few hours on the plane, a 5 hour drive from Boston to Milo for a little over a day of play then a 5 hour drive to Boston, a few hours on a plane and a 45 minute drive home to Newnan. Phewww, I am tired just writing that! When we passed into New Hampshire a song called “How Great is Our God” came on I was instantly overwhelmed with gratitude.

Here’s what I was thinking:

Labor Day September 7, 2009: exactly 6 months from the date the Isherwood and Hill families met in person.

6 months ago we were two separate families praying for each other as we navigated life without Scott and Karen.

6 months ago we existed in the day…Darren and I forcing ourselves to choose joy, to choose to make a life for our children without our other halves.

6 months ago our children prayed diligently for their respective parents hoping that someday they could feel like a complete family again….missing their deceased parent and hoping for a new one for themselves and for Darren and me.

It has been a whirlwind in the past six months…hearts joining, packing, unpacking, planning, and transitioning…..but I want to tell you, in all of it, I see the hand of God! Our Great God carried the Hill and Isherwood families through tragic and heart wrenching circumstances and days of deep grief . As we reached the “Welcome to Milo” sign, our children were counting down….”10, 9, 8, 7…” The cheers blasted my eardrums as we drove into the rural town where it all began 6 months ago….two families who understood grief getting together to share a good time and encourage each other.
I cannot imagine my life without these 8 children….watching them love and challenge each other every day is truly evidence of God’s great provision! Having the opportunity to have a best friend again, a “good cop”/ “bad cop” for parenting, someone to make plans with and enjoy all the “little” things in life with….someone who understands until “death do us part”….again, God’s amazing provision! A loving supportive family who will put out cots and sleeping bags, cook and plan and gather at a moment’s notice for our large family…..again, God’s amazing blessings! Two large church families and many friends and family members who lovingly lift our family up to the Lord…..God’s blessings! The list goes on and on……. We are so thankful!

What did 3,000 miles in 3 days teach me? That this Mary (I am a “yes” girl…often trying to pack too much into one day!) sometimes needs to be Martha (Thank you, Darren for seeking the heart of God and then listening for the answers!) and sit at the feet of the Lord to take a fresh look at what He is teaching me and remember what He has done for me! There are boxes still waiting to be unpacked but for today, at least, they can wait…I am going to make dinner for 8 hungry children. Thank you, Lord, for these many blessings!