How do the children in Maine feel about their mother marrying?

I want to share with you now a little glimpse onto the steep and winding road that my children in Maine have walked since they last were able to run into the arms of their dad. I’m overwhelmed when I think of the friendship God brought to Melissa and me as it is born out of great pain and suffering. My heart breaks when I think of what our children have endured in the loss of their parents at such young ages.

I’m not swayed however, I’m certain God has a plan for each of our lives and the joining of these two families is part of that plan. God is our strong tower, a mighty fortress! The winds of difficulty and hardship have shaped and changed us but I rest knowing it was under His ever present watch.

I love you Melissa, Noah, Eli and Annie.

The following is from Melissa and the children and will give you a small glimpse into their walk over the past few years and how they feel about our two families becoming one.

Flashback to June 9, 2006

I am lying in the bed with my boys, Noah and Eli snuggled in on each shoulder. One year old Annie Grace is long since asleep thanks to the loving care of my mother. I have shed more tears in this day than I ever thought was humanly possible. I am empty. It is surreal; surely I will wake up soon and this will all have been a nightmare, just a really horrific bad dream, a mistake or maybe someone else’s life.

Just 24 hours earlier, I lay in this same bed with my husband his arm draped around me and a smile on my face as I thought of how I was living the life I wanted; my best friend by my side and my babies down the hall.

Now he is gone from our presence until the Lord decides to take us all home. At that moment I wish He would, it would be so much easier than this. We are all crying - Eli age 4, Noah age 6 and me 30 years old. I met Scott at 15. I loved him for half of my life. Lost in my thoughts, Eli asks, “Mom, who is gonna be our Daddy now?” With whispering voice, as that is all I can muster , I reassure him that no one will ever take his Daddy’s place and that we will have to lean and trust on our heavenly Father more than we ever have before. I tell him that Daddy will always be in his heart and that maybe someday God will bring us another Daddy here on earth but until that time we can be thankful for our Grandpas, Uncles and all the men at church who will love and do “guy” stuff with us. It is a question I will be asked many more times through the days and years ahead. It doesn’t take long, maybe a few weeks and the boys begin praying, “God, please take care of Daddy in heaven and please send us a new Daddy.”

Over time, we fall into a prayer that goes like this: “Please, God, send us a new Daddy. One that will be Mommy’s best friend, will want to hear our Daddy stories, and who loves you most of all.” I pray this prayer almost every single night first with Annie and then with the boys. If I forget Annie reminds me and we tag it on the end of our prayers. Sometimes it is just part of what we pray other times it rips my heart in two to think this is my children’s normal.

February 2009, one night after praying this prayer yet again, Annie says to me: “Momma, why hasn’t God sent me a Daddy yet?” In tears and with thick voice, I tell her, “I don’t know Annie. But I think it is because He is getting the new Daddy ready for us and us ready for the new Daddy.” It is all I can say, later in my own prayers I beg God to bring this little girl a Daddy before she tires of asking.

March 2009 I am talking on the phone to Darren and the children are underfoot pulling at me to read bedtime stories. I get off the phone with Darren and call a family meeting. As we all pile on Annie’s bed I say, “Do you guys want a new Daddy?” They simultaneously shout “Yes!” I proceed to tell them that I believe that Darren is going to be that Daddy. Noah practically shouts, “Oh, Mom, I was wishing he could be the one!” We spend the next few minutes talking about what this news means for our family. I explain to them how I feel about Darren and the children. Noah, Eli, and Annie are so excited they are bouncing the bed up and down.

Over the days and weeks that follow they wait in anticipation for the “question” to be asked. On more than one occasion they say to me, “Mom, can’t you just ask him to marry you?!” On April 12, 2009 they have tangible proof in the form of an engagement ring on their Mom’s finger that they have a new Daddy. Their prayers have been answered. Every time they twirl or look at the ring on my finger I remind them…“This means you have a Daddy again.” The best part is not only do they get a Daddy but 5 brothers and sisters! Their feelings about that would take another whole post, but a quick summary would be that Darren and I know we are blessed beyond measure and these children are firmly rooted in each other’s hearts.

Final note: I am thankful to report that our prayers now go like this: “Thank you, God for sending us a new Daddy. Thank you for JD, Hannah, Matthew, Rachel and Zachary. Please help us to knit our families so tightly together that nothing could tear us apart.”

I just read the story above to Noah, Eli and Annie for their approval to share with all of you … Their response was, “Tell people! … We love our new Dad!”