The house is quiet. All my children are tucked into their beds. Darren is at work. I can faintly hear the sounds of Odyssey playing in my children’s bedrooms as they drift off to sleep to (hopefully) dream peaceful dreams. I am alone. It is a strange sensation. While laundry is ever waiting, homework needs correcting, notes should be written; I have decided instead to put a few thoughts into words during this brief interlude from the routine demands of my days.

The sensation of being alone….of actually being aware of the lack of sounds of daily living…the absence of energy of 8 children is strangely surreal. Tonight, as I went around to their beds to give kisses, hugs and pray over the children I was so aware that 371 days ago we did not know each other beyond telephone, snail mail, or emails. When I think of what God has done in 371 short days I am overwhelmed. You may think that is foolish considering what He created in just 7 days at the dawn of time. The thing is that this is my life….my tangible reality. And I stand AMAZED! As I reflect on the way that God has knit our ten hearts together in this past year I feel that there aren’t words fine enough to describe what has taken place. Truly, the Hill and Isherwood families merging into one is reason to praise the Lord!

Our days are so full! It seems that from the moment we put our feet on the floor we go and do and the next thing we know we are crawling back into bed to rest quickly before starting all over again. It is the most rewarding, exhausting, scary, thrilling, dramatic day-to-day life I could have imagined. As newlyweds, Darren and I are still learning each other…still studying one another….not always sure how the other will respond to certain situations. While it is our goal to never stop studying one another, we sure feel the “amnesia” that occurs when we miscue or encounter a new scenario. Karen would have known this….Scott would have known that. Then we realize: oh, yes, this person who is now my other half doesn’t know what happened to me when I was six that made me deathly afraid of dogs nor do I fully understand how he came to dislike surprises and sandwiches. The thousands of little details that make up who we have become are shared in stolen snippets of time in between pouring our hearts into raising eight straight flying arrows, working and maintaining our home and relationships. It is an unusual beginning to be sure…..sometimes frustrating, sometimes hurtful, sometimes funny, sometimes touching….but always interesting! I feel so blessed to call Darren my husband, father of my children, my other half, my best friend. We laugh, we cry, we rage, we plan, we worry, we wonder…and we do it together! The fullness of our life together abundantly overflows in stark contrast to the deep and agonizing emptiness of widow/widower hood. Psalm 9:1 reads: “I will praise thee, O Lord, with my whole heart; I will show forth all thy marvelous works.” As we head into another year-long set of seasons together we hope to share with you all the He has done and is doing. Together, we will Praise Him!

It’s been a while since our last posting so we’d thought it be fun to answer a couple of the most asked questions, “How do you feed all those people?” and “Where do they sit?”

This is just a portion of our 2 week grocery list (on average):
· 12 loaves of bread
· 8 gallons of milk
· 12 quarts of juice
· 3 jars of jam
· 3 dozen eggs
· 4 pounds of cheese
· 3 pounds of deli meat
· 2 pounds of bacon
· 4 packages of bagels
· 4 boxes of cereal
· 6 pounds of butter
· 6 heads of lettuce
· 3 jars of Applesauce
· 6 pounds of bananas
· 4 large containers of yogurt
· And the list goes on!!!

Yes, shopping for a family of 10 people (especially ravenous growing children) is a whole new experience for me! Cooking for 10 people is fun and rewarding. I really love cooking with the children and, thankfully, they all seem to enjoy cooking with me. I have found that keeping the pantry shelves stocked for our large family is truly a much more challenging job! I am learning how to navigate grocery market sales and coupon websites like never before. Menu planning is absolutely essential and fun for me to do with the children. I am especially pleased when I end up having what the children call an “All Like Day”. As you may have guessed, this is when everyone in the house actually likes all three meals of the day!!! I must confess that “linner” days are my favorite. What’s that mean? It is the day when we have breakfast and a late afternoon/early evening meal. (ie. Lunch + Dinner = Linner) Obviously, having two meals to prepare is much simpler but the real reason “Linner Days” are my favorite is because these only occur on Darren’s days off from work. So, a “Linner Day” means we get the King home with us all day and that is what we all enjoy the most!

I thought you might enjoy the picture of our large dining room table. This table is amazing! Made by the Amish, it is solid and finely crafted. Truly, it is a work of art. With four benches and four chairs, we have room for at least 16 adult people at our table. We are so blessed by this table because not only can we easily have company over but each child also has plenty of growing room! This table has already seen a lot of memories being made. We are laughing, learning, crying, praying, dreaming and doing conflict resolution at this table. If you come to visit us for any length of time, plan to make your way around the table as each of the children will want a chance to sit with you! If you get confused as to where to sit, don’t worry the children always know whose turn is next!
Truly, my cup overflows. I praise God for His faithfulness. Thank you for sharing in our journey. Until next time……

As a little girl, I remember standing by the sink and watching my Daddy shave his face. I remember the thick white lather of his shaving cream and the smell of his aftershave. I also remember how much I looked up to and loved my Dad. I would follow him around just to be near him…..tool fetcher, drink getter, no job was too big or too small if it meant I could be with my Daddy. After all, my Daddy LOVED me!

Today, I watched while my husband shaved his face. I have been trying to savor that time with him everyday since we married on July 24th. It only takes about 5 minutes, I guess. Sometimes it is just a pure pleasure to sit and watch him get ready to slay the dragon called work. Usually, we talk….often I pray for him. Other times, like today, it is an exercise in savoring the moment. Today, I had a whole carport full of yard sale items to sort and price. Lunch needed to be prepared. Children needed my attention. I was tempted to leave….to throw myself into the duties of the day. What held me there? The memories of my “first” life.

I remember camping with my husband Scott. I remember pouring through a novel inside the tent while he sat by the fire looking up at the stars in the deep woods of Aroostook County, Maine. He called to me…”Melissa, put that book down. Come look at these stars with me!” I hesitated…I was in a really good part of the story! Eventually, I did go out and look at the stars with him…but not immediately. In other words, I am sure he felt that the novel was the priority
of the moment more so than those few minutes with him.

Now, I see things differently….most days, any way. While we should not live in the past, I cannot tell you that I haven’t wished I had those minutes back. But I can tell you that the minutes that I casually tossed aside for the duty or distraction of the moment have taught me a valuable lesson. I pray that Darren and I will not leave this space of gratitude. The space where we are achingly aware of the fragility of life with someone we love. How in a moment it can all be changed forever. For me, watching my husband shave, is a moment in time that I can show him I reverence him. I love him. Nothing is as important as spending those moments together before we face the outside world. I never asked my Dad how he felt when I was watching him shave but I can tell you that I now understand better how much that time with him meant to me. Our youngest, Annie, is fond of telling Darren when he needs to shave and occasionally she watches him as well. It is my plan to always remind her to savor those moments…..shaving, washing dishes together, working in the yard, carrying the groceries in. Whatever mundane thing it is that you get to do with your loved one….I encourage you to do it with the idea that it may be your last opportunity. Be 100% present…..savor the preciousness of this life.

Finally an update ....

Melissa and I have been extremely busy bringing two households together but do intend on sharing our experineces as two become one on many, many levels. The events of this weekend are as good as place as any to begin sharing. Because our perspectives are so different, I am pleased to share that Melissa will be actively writing for the blog. We hope you enjoy this update.

My sweet husband, brought our family back to Maine for the Labor Day holiday. As many of you know, Darren is a planner and I am a “right now” kind of person. We can balance each other wonderfully: he prepares for the road ahead and I help him enjoy today. These same wonderful qualities can also annoy the other partner immensely! Because of our different personalities, I was once again amazed by my best friend. His planning met a need I didn’t even anticipate having! (Darren is probably chuckling right now because planners ANTICIPATE….very difficult for those like myself who worry about tomorrow in tomorrow!) That being said, Darren planned this trip (between working at home and Delta) while I was unpacking boxes and thinking about what to have for dinner each day…..I am so thankful he did!
While the sky was yet dark on Sunday morning of Sept. 6th we woke our eight blessings. Zachary said, “Dad, it is practically the middle of the night!” Sounds of delight filled the morning quiet once the children saw their backpacks ready to go and it sunk in that Dad wasn’t playing a practical joke….we really were on our way to Maine! Even as we headed to the airport, I was still thinking about what I could be accomplishing if I stayed in Newnan and just kept plugging away at the unpacking. That is why I found myself incredulous as several hours later I, too, realized I was wanting….no yearning….for Maine and family. As the scenery changed so did my heart. 3,000 miles in 3 days…no problem! A 45 minute ride to the airport, a few hours on the plane, a 5 hour drive from Boston to Milo for a little over a day of play then a 5 hour drive to Boston, a few hours on a plane and a 45 minute drive home to Newnan. Phewww, I am tired just writing that! When we passed into New Hampshire a song called “How Great is Our God” came on I was instantly overwhelmed with gratitude.

Here’s what I was thinking:

Labor Day September 7, 2009: exactly 6 months from the date the Isherwood and Hill families met in person.

6 months ago we were two separate families praying for each other as we navigated life without Scott and Karen.

6 months ago we existed in the day…Darren and I forcing ourselves to choose joy, to choose to make a life for our children without our other halves.

6 months ago our children prayed diligently for their respective parents hoping that someday they could feel like a complete family again….missing their deceased parent and hoping for a new one for themselves and for Darren and me.

It has been a whirlwind in the past six months…hearts joining, packing, unpacking, planning, and transitioning…..but I want to tell you, in all of it, I see the hand of God! Our Great God carried the Hill and Isherwood families through tragic and heart wrenching circumstances and days of deep grief . As we reached the “Welcome to Milo” sign, our children were counting down….”10, 9, 8, 7…” The cheers blasted my eardrums as we drove into the rural town where it all began 6 months ago….two families who understood grief getting together to share a good time and encourage each other.
I cannot imagine my life without these 8 children….watching them love and challenge each other every day is truly evidence of God’s great provision! Having the opportunity to have a best friend again, a “good cop”/ “bad cop” for parenting, someone to make plans with and enjoy all the “little” things in life with….someone who understands until “death do us part”….again, God’s amazing provision! A loving supportive family who will put out cots and sleeping bags, cook and plan and gather at a moment’s notice for our large family…..again, God’s amazing blessings! Two large church families and many friends and family members who lovingly lift our family up to the Lord…..God’s blessings! The list goes on and on……. We are so thankful!

What did 3,000 miles in 3 days teach me? That this Mary (I am a “yes” girl…often trying to pack too much into one day!) sometimes needs to be Martha (Thank you, Darren for seeking the heart of God and then listening for the answers!) and sit at the feet of the Lord to take a fresh look at what He is teaching me and remember what He has done for me! There are boxes still waiting to be unpacked but for today, at least, they can wait…I am going to make dinner for 8 hungry children. Thank you, Lord, for these many blessings!

A note from Mr. and Mrs. Isherwood

Dear Family and Friends:

Greetings from Mr. and Mrs. James Darren Isherwood!

Let me begin by saying the past two months have gone quicker than any other time in my life. Since the last update much has occurred. We will share in time more details of the past two months in the mean time here’s the cliff notes.

Packed our house in Maine
8 children
Sold our house in Maine
8 children
Packed and drove a moving truck 1,500 miles from Maine to Georgia
8 children
Remodeled our home in Georgia to make way for 6 becoming 10.
Several trips back and forth between Georgia and Maine.
8 children
Two families learning to become one
8 children
Clothing 8 children for a wedding
Rehearsal for wedding
Wedding – July 24, 2009 at 7p.m. in Bradford, Maine
Trip to Georgia July 25, 2009 started at 2.am. (That’s right 7 whole hours!)
Honeymoon (Thanks to Melissa’s parents and Lidia for keeping those 8 children!)

These are just the physical things. The emotional stuff has been much harder and more beautiful. We both are speechless when we think of all that has occurred. We were both married to our best friends and never imagined our lives taking the turns that we and our children have endured. God works in mysterious ways. Yet we both rest knowing God is control and have certainly enjoyed this time in our lives. The best way I can describe this time in our lives is painfully, beautiful. It’s hard to say goodbye to family, friends, childhood home, a town you’ve lived in nearly your entire life, your church home, seeing someone else living in your house and playing on the playground your dad built with you and for you, having your best friend 1,500 miles apart, seeing the house your mother decorated changing before your very eyes, watching as the “norms” of your life change so quickly. It hurts, and is … painful.

The beauty is … well it’s hard to find words. It’s like being asked to describe a rainbow, sunset, sunrise, walk along the beach and a view from a mountain peak all at once.

As I type this update, my sweet wife is taking a nap and I can hear her shallow content breathing as she is sleeping soundly. I think I will stop here and join her.

Please forgive the lack of update over the past many weeks but as you can see it has been rather busy. It is our intent to bring the blog up to date and continue posting until we feel led differently. Until the next update as often as you think of our family please pray for us.

Okay back to bringing the rest of the world up with ours. Some quick rambling thoughts …. At the end of May the children and I traveled to Maine and spent nearly a week there. After our time together in Maine the whole gang traveled back down to Georgia and we enjoyed another week and half together here. We had a wonderful time together!

We are blessed to have her parents live close so Melissa and the girls stayed with them while the boys and I stayed at her house. We are blessed here in Georgia too as I was able to stay with family (Karen’s parents) while the rest of the bunch started forming a new “normal” being together under one roof at our home in Georgia.

Speaking of homes we are selling Melissa’s house or giving it away really as we just want to break even with the mortgage. We feel very blessed to have a contract on the house in this market and ask that you join us in prayer that it would sell before we marry.

The time we spent together was extremely busy and Melissa and I learned a lot. Three things that stick out in my mind are the amount of food it takes to feed our bunch, the need to stay on top of the laundry or you will drown in it! Socks alone, ten people changing socks daily in one week equals 140 dirty socks! The third thought and really the most important is what I touched on in the last post, we are abundantly blessed. The work that comes with eight children is overshadowed with the blessing of having them. Melissa and I have been given the opportunity to hone and sharpen 8 arrows that will fly out into the future. Like a pebble on still water, the ripple affect from what we do today will affect many in generations to come.

You guys should start your own reality show, is a comment we hear often. Thanks but no thanks is my reply but people’s responses upon seeing our crew together does make me smile for the most part. An example, on our way down from Maine to Georgia we stopped into a McDonald’s restaurant for lunch. I walked up to the counter and began to tell the lady that I needed to order 10 small fries, 10 waters when she stops me mid sentence with a quizzical look and a, “How many?”

I begin to repeat myself when she interrupts again with a, “What?” At this point, I’m thinking to myself my accent can’t be that bad. So I say ten, one zero small fries, waters, cheeseburgers. She laughed and said I thought that is what you said but I wanted to make sure, because that’s a lot of food for one family. I’m grateful for the dollar menu and that water is still free!

Sadly we are apart again but not much longer now. Our house in Maine is ready for the move and we are doing a lot of work here in Georgia to make the house ready for 6 to grow to 10. We are all processing different emotions as the changes continue. I marvel at the children’s love and care for each other one moment, desire to strangle the other 10 minutes later which is then quickly followed by laughing and playing together a short time after whatever the problem was is solved. We may not officially be a family for a while longer but you wouldn’t know that if you spent any time with us.

The wedding plans are coming along and we are all very excited about officially becoming a family.

Abundantly Blessed!!!!

Even more abundantly blessed this father's day than just one year ago!

My favorite quote on large familes comes from a man that lived over 350 years ago …

I remember a great man coming into my house at Waltham; and, seeing all my children standing in the order of their age and size, he said, "These are what make rich men poor." But I gave him this answer, "No, my lord, these are what make a poor man rich; for there is not one of these we would part with for all your wealth." Joseph Hall 1574-1656

I feel immeasurably blessed to have 8 children call me dad today! I am truly rich!!

When I hear the song in the video below I am reminded of how fast my children are growing up and the short window of time that I have to influence them and in doing so impact in some way all the generations that follow.